Should You Still Celebrate Your Dating Anniversary After You Get Married?

Whether you have a castle celebration or intimate elopement, your wedding is, understandably, one of the most memorable days of your relationship. That doesn’t mean it’s the only one worth celebrating, though. Chances are, before saying your “I dos,” you had a different anniversary you honored annually. So, what happens after the wedding? Should you still celebrate your dating anniversary after you get married? The short answer: Yes!

“Celebrating dating anniversaries is like revisiting the first chapter of your favorite book,” says marriage coach Dr. Jacquie Del Rosario. “It's where the story began, filled with the excitement and wonder of discovery and the promise of what's to come.” 

Some people celebrate the anniversary of their first date or first kiss, while others celebrate the day they became exclusive or defined the relationship. Whatever a dating anniversary means to you, marriage, family, and sex therapist Nicoletta Heidegger says it provides the opportunity to celebrate the start of your relationship, whereas your wedding anniversary celebrates the day you said your vows. “Memories of dating and/or marriage may be different, or you might just like an excuse to celebrate each other and your relationship—every couple and person is different,” she explains. Some couples love the chance to have more than one day devoted to their relationship journey, whereas others feel content celebrating solely on their wedding date.

If you’re trying to figure out whether you should still throw on a party dress when your dating anniversary comes around, you’ve come to the right place. Below, relationship experts outline everything you need to know about the differences between dating and wedding anniversaries—and how to decide which to celebrate—after your fiancé(e) becomes your spouse.

The Importance of Dating Anniversaries

While it might seem like a dating anniversary is overshadowed by a wedding anniversary, both experts agree there’s much to be said for keeping your dating anniversary on the calendar. “Dating anniversaries feel like stepping back into the magical moments that set us off on our love journey,” says Dr. Jacquie. “It’s a day where both you and your mate take a deliberate pause to reignite the spark that led you to commit to each other. It's a way to honor the roots by remembering the moments that laid the foundation for your lifelong commitment.”

What's more, beyond just another excuse to get dressed up and cuddle up next to your significant other, Heidegger says taking the time to honor each other on anniversaries, dating and otherwise, is important for fostering a lasting commitment. “Doing things for fun and for pleasure—and practicing celebration—is important for human connection,” she explains. “Reminiscing can also create some feel-good neurochemicals in the body that help folks remember why they chose each other in the first place. It’s important to continue to put effort into maintaining a connection, and this is one way to do that.”

The Differences Between Dating and Wedding Anniversaries

Think of it this way: Your wedding anniversary is the day to honor the choice to spend your life together, while your dating anniversary gives you the opportunity to reminisce about how your love story started. Both are important milestones but represent pretty different moments. “Dating anniversaries encapsulate the raw, authentic emotions of early love,” explains Dr. Jacquie. “It's a celebration of excitement, discovery, and the foundation-building moments. On the other hand, wedding anniversaries bear the weight and reward of commitment and endurance.” 

When you first start dating, chances are you took every opportunity to honor your bond, from the anniversary of your first kiss to the first time you exchanged “I love yous.” As time goes on and the years accumulate, though, some of those smaller milestones might fall by the wayside, and that’s okay. While some couples might jump at the chance to celebrate the start of their relationship year after year, others might find that their wedding anniversary encapsulates it all. 

Neither option is correct, but Dr. Jacquie urges couples to keep in mind that celebrations require time, money, and emotional energy. If you’re low on any of those, just prioritizing your wedding anniversary might be best. “Overemphasizing a dating anniversary, especially when you're already married, might inadvertently eclipse your actual wedding anniversary, and that's something we definitely want to avoid,” Dr. Jacquie says. “Be mindful of the time and expenses required for elaborate celebrations.”

Deciding which anniversaries to celebrate as the years go on is very partner/marriage specific, adds Heidegger. “The most important thing is to get clear on what your/your partner's desires, expectations, and feelings are around anniversaries so you can show up for one another,” she explains. “I often see folks who do not clarify the importance of these dates and are later disappointed when their partner doesn't do anything or remember the occasion, leading to fights and resentment.”

How to Celebrate a Dating Anniversary

If you and your partner decide to celebrate your dating anniversary, you’ll want to make sure it feels different than your wedding anniversary so as not to outshine the day you took your vows. Dr. Jacquie says for your dating anniversary, leaning into the nostalgic, youthful spirit of your relationship’s inception is key. Recreate your first date by going back to the same restaurant or cooking up a similar menu at home and putting on a playlist full of songs you’d jam out to in the early days of dating. While your wedding anniversary likely includes watching your wedding video, having some leftover wedding cake, and exchanging luxury anniversary gifts, your dating anniversary should be more about the start of your connection.

In order to really make your dating anniversary special, Heidegger advises learning each other’s love language to ensure your spouse feels acknowledged and seen. If they crave words of affirmation, write them a love letter. If they prefer physical touch, give them a massage or book a spa day. If you’re looking for the perfect tangible present, Dr. Jacquie suggests playing on traditional engagement gifts by giving them a “first date” twist. “For example, if your first date was at the movies, buy your partner that movie or an item that reminds them of it,” she says. “Being creative and thoughtful lends a distinctive and memorable touch, setting it apart from a more formal wedding anniversary celebration.”

Whether you decide to continue celebrating your dating anniversary or bid it adieu, what’s most important is that you keep putting effort into your relationship and cherish each other. If that means planning a special night for your dating anniversary or just bringing your significant other a cup of coffee in bed each morning, don’t forget to remember all the reasons you decided to say “I do” in the first place. “In the hustle of daily life, celebrating anniversaries becomes a deliberate act of prioritizing the relationship,” says Dr. Jacquie. “It's a pause button, allowing couples to reconnect and relish the bond that has flourished since those early days.”