6 Common Wedding Gift Mistakes Guests Make

The world of wedding gifts has officially changed: With honeymoon funds becoming more and more mainstream and unique, experiential registries cropping up on wedding websites everywhere, the world of big-day gifts can feel a little difficult for guests to navigate. “A lot has changed since the wedding registry was first invented, but that doesn’t mean gift-giving is any less important or exciting for modern couples,” says Zola’s Allison Cullman.

As wedding gifts themselves evolve, so too has the etiquette surrounding how to give them. Want to ensure your behavior is up to code? Read on for six common wedding gift mistakes guests commonly make—plus, what you should do instead.

Not Giving a Gift at All 

If you RSVPed “yes” to a wedding, your acceptance of the invitation does come with the expectation to give a gift—even if you’re dropping serious coin to travel to a destination wedding. How much to spend on that gift, though, is dependent on what works with your financial circumstances. (Meaning: Don’t feel pressured to also splurge on that Dyson vacuum if you spent thousands traveling overseas. A smaller kitchen gadget or mixing bowl will work just fine.) 

If you’re unable to make the event, consider how well you know the marrying couple. If they’re a casual acquaintance, a congratulatory engagement card with an offer for a round celebratory drinks the next time you see them may be more than sufficient. If they’re closer friends or family members, you should still consider sending a gift.

Waiting Too Long to Send a Gift 

While you may have heard that guests have up to a year after a wedding to send a gift, you’ll want to be more punctual than that. “We recommend erring on the side of politeness and aiming to send a gift no later than three months after the wedding date,” says Cullman. “This is a good rule of thumb because if you’re not in a position to purchase a gift at the moment, you have ample time afterwards to accommodate.”

Bringing a Bulky Gift to the Reception 

“Most couples prefer to receive a gift before or after the big day versus having to transport it home from the wedding,” says Cullman. This is especially true with destination weddings, as the couple will likely have limited room in their suitcases.The couple may also be heading out on their honeymoon the day after their nuptials, which would make it logistically complicated to transport your gift back home.

Going Off Registry Without Considering the Couple 

If you want to ensure beyond a doubt that the couple will appreciate and enjoy your gift, your best bet is to stick with something on their wedding registry. “Couples put a lot of time and care into creating a registry of items that they truly want and need for their life together,” says Cullman. By choosing something they’ve researched and selected specifically, you’ll be showing your respect for their relationship. 

Procrastinated and worried that all the “good” gifts are gone? Don’t be! “The value of a gift is not equivalent to its price tag,” Cullman adds. “Even if it doesn’t feel exciting to you, it is still exciting to the couple.” So feel free to round-up a random assortment of cutlery sets and guest bathroom towels—the couple will be so grateful you helped add to their collection. 

If you’ve got strong feelings about giving a gift that isn’t on the couple’s registry, be sure that your intentions are rooted in what’s best for the couple and not your own traditions. Your gift should match the couple's lifestyle and reflect their personal needs and aesthetics. While you may love the custom of “always” giving an engraved Champagne bucket to newlyweds, that won’t make sense if the couple doesn’t drink alcohol.

Ignoring the Cash Fund  

“For modern couples, cash funds are becoming a replacement for a lot of sentimental or handmade gifts,” says Cullman. “We’re seeing couples use them for purchasing a home, starting a family, or to contribute to an important charity.” In other words: just because it might feel a touch impersonal to you to give money in this manner, it won’t to the couple. 

Cash funds are also a great plan B if you aren’t finding anything you love on the couple’s gift registry. If there’s something specific you hope to contribute towards, such as a snorkeling adventure on their honeymoon or light fixtures for that bathroom they’re renovating, feel free to add that in a note, but know that how they spend the money is ultimately up to the couple’s discretion. 

Misaddressing a Check 

Plan on bringing a check in a card to the reception? To avoid a headache for the couple later on, address the check to just the member of the couple you feel closest to. (You can add a “For the newlyweds!” note in the memo section so the couple knows it's for both of them.) Also important: Be sure to use the last name the person had before the wedding, as it can take a while to tackle all the paperwork necessary to legally change a last name. That way, the couple doesn’t have to wait to deposit your gift!