When it comes to wedding speeches, there's no rule that says the groom has to give one; generally speaking, the father of the bride, the best man, and the maid of honor are the only people required to grab the microphone, but there's even some flexibility here. As the groom, if you feel inclined to say a few words during the party, you absolutely should. This is a great chance for you to say thanks: You can thank your guests for being there, thank your family members for their financial and emotional support, thank your wedding vendors for bringing the day to life, and thank your partner for making you the happiest man in the room.
If you're feeling nervous about the idea of giving a speech, here's the good news: According to Pete Honsberger, the author of Wedding Toasts 101: The Guide to the Perfect Wedding Speech, preparing for your moment in the spotlight is surprisingly simple. What's more, he says, this is an opportunity you won't want to pass up.
Meet the Expert
Pete Honsberger is the author of Wedding Toasts 101: The Guide to the Perfect Wedding Speech, He has been a serial groomsman, speaker, and wedding toast advisor for most of his adult life. When it comes to wedding toasts, he's seen just about everything.
Here, Honsberger's top tips for writing and delivering an amazing wedding speech as the groom, including exactly what to say to get everyone clapping.
Groom's Wedding Speech Tips
If you're feeling like you can't possibly add another task to your pre-wedding to-do list, remember that writing your speech shouldn't take long at all. "You only need a few minutes to prepare and about two minutes to deliver your speech," Honsberger says. "This is your chance to recognize the hard work that others (and you) have put into this amazing day, to thank everyone for giving you the gifts of their time (and money, haha!), and to add another twinkle in your love’s eyes. "
His best advice? Keep it brief, but make it count. "From my experience [giving a speech at my own wedding] and those that I’ve witnessed, it’s so worth it," says Honsberger.
How to Prepare for a Wedding Speech as the Groom
Honsberger says that preparing for your speech should take less than 15 minutes. That's right: In less than the time it takes to watch a rerun of your favorite television show, you'll be able to pen a thoughtful message for the big day. "Just be sure to have a tidbit for each and you’ll look like a pro. Most importantly, you’ll show the crowd, your family, and your partner that you genuinely appreciate them," he adds.
When should you give your speech? Honsberger says either right before or right after dinner is served. "You'll want to speak to your planner in advance about fitting your toast into the reception timeline, but once it's go-time, simply gesture for a microphone and ask for the guests’ attention," he explains.
Groom Speech Template
To begin, simply prepare these five steps.
Step 1: Give Thanks
In today's modern world, most of your wedding guests are traveling to be part of the big day. "And regardless of wedding size, you’ve had people traveling distances and giving their time to be in attendance," says Honsberger. "Most (and hopefully all) have brought you gifts, many of the pieces of green paper that will serve you very well as you start your new life. And even more than that, they deemed you important enough to spend a day of their lives participating in your celebration." That's why it's so important to take a moment and thank your guests. After all, regardless of how big or small your wedding is, there's a good chance you won't be able to spend quality time with each guest, which means you likely won't be able to thank everyone for being there.
At a loss for what to say? Honsberger suggests: "The only thing I want to say is wow. People have told me this would be the best day of my life, and I can honestly say it’s true, because of all of you (pointing at the crowd), and especially you (pointing at your partner). I cannot thank you all enough for being here."
Step 2: Give One Compliment to Your Partner
Your wedding day is about the two of you coming together, so you'd be remiss not to say something sweet about the person who just married you. "Cue up a classy and perhaps playful compliment about their dress or tux, the work they did to make the day possible, their patience in dealing with you, their resilience in wedding planning while you were out of town on a business trip, or simply their unwavering love throughout a challenging process," says Honsberger. "Tell them this publicly. You only need one or two lines to share your appreciation and to make their eyes sparkle and their face blush with slightly embarrassed happiness. "
An option he likes? “[Name of your partner], I’ll never forget seeing you walk down the aisle today. You are beautiful in more ways than I can count.” As a funny alternative, he also suggests: “[Name of your partner], you must be a parking ticket because you have fine written all over you right now!”
Step 3: Recall One Memory
"You don’t have a lot of time for this, so pick out one noteworthy anecdote or short memory from your relationship, from the wedding planning process, or from your interactions with their family and friends," says Honsberger. "Share your most compelling and enthusiastic version of that story and you’ll delight the whole crowd." A good option, according to the pro, would be something like: “When [name of partner] and I first met, we talked for hours until our friends all wanted to leave. I started to panic since I didn’t want to stop getting to know them. So I suggested we keep the party going by getting some pizza while everyone else went home. We’re only here tonight because my [husband or wife] likes pizza!”
Step 4: Share One Reception Comment
Whether it’s about the dinner being currently served, the signature cocktail available at the bar, the DJ/band, or the overall atmosphere in the reception space, pull out one comment to share aloud related to the evening’s experience. "The purpose of this is to connect the whole room with your vision for the night," says Honsberger. "If you want the dance floor absolutely packed, speak it into existence. If you have a specially requested song you want to tease, mention it here."
Step 5: Give Thanks Again
Before concluding your speech, give one more round of thanks for everyone involved. Anyone you missed on the first pass—your families, any special friends, and especially your wedding vendors—should be noted here. Then, ask everyone to raise a toast to your partner, your families, the friends in attendance, and the hardworking staff working to bring the day to life.