The Complete Guide to Groom's People Duties

While it’s fully possible to have a wedding without a wedding party, sharing the moment with friends and family at the altar can make the milestone feel all the more significant. If a wedding has a groom, the people who stand up next to him on the big day are his groomsmen or groom's people. These attendants have several responsibilities that span the groom's wedding planning and day-of journey—but their main job is to support him throughout the monumentality of taking this next step (marriage!) and perform certain tasks before, during, and after those nuptials happen. From wearing coordinating attire to attending the bachelor party, these VIPs ensure the wedding goes off without a hitch (and make the process that much more fun for the man of the hour).

But what, exactly, does a groom's person need to know when they step into the role? What are the expectations affiliated with being a a groomsmen—and how can you fulfill those duties to the best of your ability? To help, we tapped wedding planner Andrew Roby, who answered all of our (and your) most pressing questions about this job.

Read on for a complete guide to being a groomsman, including everything that should be on your must-do list.

What Is a Groomsman?

A groomsman is an attendant to the groom. The groom's VIPs may also be referred to as groom's people, groomsmaids, or groomswomen, depending on who is part of his half of the wedding party. In a military wedding, groomsmen are referred to as swordsmen.

These attendants support the groom before, during, and after the wedding; they plan and/or attend pre-nuptial events (like the bachelor party and rehearsal dinner) and typically stand up next to the groom during the ceremony. The best man is often in charge of the groomsmen at weddings.

Groomsmen Duties Before the Wedding

Groom's people have a slew of responsibilities to carry out before the wedding takes place, from organizing the bachelor party to picking up attire rentals. Here's a break down of everything a groomsman should expect to do before the big day.

Plan the Bachelor Party

This is the most important pre-wedding duty. "It gets the groom excited about their wedding day, but it also serves as a stress reliever," Roby explains. "They’ve been inundated with planning, and they need something to break that up." So don’t drop the ball! While the best person may take the lead on overall planning, the best way to get the rest of the groom's people involved is to divide and conquer. Put different people in charge of different tasks, such as finding a rental house, booking dinner reservations, choosing bars, etc., so it all gets done in a timely fashion.

Show Up to Events

Attend as many pre-wedding events (engagement parties, co-ed showers, the rehearsal dinner, etc.) as possible to show your support for the couple—and, on occasion, give your groom an excuse to gracefully exit a conversation with their partner's blabbermouth third cousin.

Support the Groom

“Make sure someone in the group is the [designated] psychologist,” Roby says. “That person is going to help with the groom’s stress and mental health during this process because planning a wedding can be stressful. Having a calm voice among the [groom's people] is always helpful.”

Book Travel and Hotel

Most groomsmen are responsible for booking their own hotel stays and making any necessary travel accommodations. Be sure to do so in a timely manner and, if applicable, make use of reserved hotel blocks. It's important the wedding party stays together under one roof, which will make all wedding weekend logistics smoother. If room blocks or hotels are not part of the equation, work with the best man and other groomsmen to identify an AirBnb, which might also be where the groom sleeps the night before the wedding.

Pick Out Attire

If asked to weigh in on what the groom's people should wear, do so thoughtfully, respectfully, and with their best interests in mind. And if they ask you to help shop for a look, do so.

Pick Up Attire on Time

Whether you’ll be renting a tux, getting a custom jacket made, or simply purchasing a tie to go with a suit you already own, it’s nobody’s job but your own to ensure you have the proper attire come wedding day.

Answer Guests' Questions

This is especially important for a destination wedding where travel comes into play, says Roby, as older or more trepidatious guests might require more hand-holding. If you can help answer questions about things like hotel check-in, transportation, and the time and location of various activities like the welcome party or rehearsal dinner, that will free up your groom to actually enjoy the wedding weekend.

Groomsmen Duties During the Wedding

When the wedding day arrives, groom's people are at the front of the action—and they need to be ready to wrangle a full schedule.

Show Up on Time

It’s your duty to know where you need to be and when—and then arrive promptly, with all the necessary components of your attire. Showing up on time is a critical groomsmen duty; in fact, it's probably the most important one.

Bring a Gift

A groomsman should get the couple of honor a gift, whether that's an item off their registry or cash. If you take the former route, consider going in on a group gift with the rest of the groom's VIPS—this way, you can all pool funds to get the groom and his spouse-to-be a big-ticket item they really want.

Be Helpful Ahead of the Ceremony

This applies to the groom and the wedding's attendees at large. After you assist the groom with getting ready for the ceremony (this might involve helping him with his bow tie or sharing a pre-service drink to calm any nerves), make yourself available to other guests. As loved ones begin to trickle into the ceremony, they’ll likely have questions. Where do we put gifts? Is there a bathroom? Where do we pick up the shuttle to the reception? Because groom's people occasionally serve as ushers (more on that in a moment), they can provide answers to those questions as they greet guests.

Usher Guests to Their Seats

If a wedding doesn’t have formal ushers, groomsmen may be asked to fill the role until they’re called to the altar. As ushers, you will greet guests and escort them to available seats.

Stand at the Altar

As an important member of the wedding party, a groom's person will stand up on the groom's side of the altar. They may also be asked to perform a reading during the ceremony.

Help Corral the Wedding Party for Photos

We know, we know—once the ceremony wraps, it’s tempting to rush straight to the bar. But don’t give in! (At least not right away.) Help keep the wedding party together so you can push through portraits and, if necessary, (politely) hold other guests at bay so the couple doesn’t become distracted from the task at hand.

Give a Speech (If Asked)

At the wedding reception, this job is typically reserved for the best man. But if you’re asked to speak, do so! And if you’re not asked, do not grab the mic and give a speech anyway. Weddings run on tight schedules, and the disruption could mess up the flow of the evening.

Get on the Dance Floor

“Be those courageous people that are out on the dance floor when no one else wants to get out there,” says Roby. “And pull people up to dance with you.”

Tidy Up the Couple's Suite

When his couples hold their reception at the hotel where they’ll be spending the night, Roby encourages the groom's people to steal away for a few minutes during the reception to tidy up the room. “Remove all the trash and food that may be in there, or ask room service to go,” he says. This is a great way to go above and beyond as a groomsman.

Keep Gifts Safe

Bring gifts to the best man or maid of honor's room, a parent's room, or another secure location. That way, they’re taken care of without taking up space in the couple's suite.

Groomsmen Duties After the Wedding

A groomsman's duties aren't over once the wedding wraps—there are several tasks to complete even after the groom is hitched. Here's what you should keep on your to-do list in the days (and weeks) after the event.

Rally Guests for Brunch

The morning after a wedding can be rough, but if there’s a breakfast scheduled, it’s your duty to show up—and make sure others do the same. If necessary, head to the rooms of other important attendees who may be tempted to sleep through the event and make sure they get there on time as well.

Load the Car

Take those gifts you stored in a safe place last night and get them into the proper vehicle. If the couple can’t fit everything in their car and you’re headed somewhere close by, offer to take a few with you.

Return Suit or Tuxedo Rentals

If it’s possible to put one or two people in charge of returning the whole lot, do so. If not, each person is responsible for getting their own attire back to its original source. They’re also responsible for any damage or late fees incurred.

Check on the Couple's Home While They Honeymoon

If the couple is heading out for their honeymoon the morning after the wedding, anyone living close by should consider offering to take gifts or any other wedding-only essentials back to the couple’s house, and ensure that it’s securely locked up for the duration of the getaway.