What Should the Mother of the Bride Wear to a Wedding?

Once upon a time, mothers of the bride were expected to wear matronly dresses in Easter-egg pastels or washed-out shades of beige. Thankfully, that's in the past, and moms are now able to freely express their sartorial sensibilities on their child's big day. But with more freedom comes a little more confusion, and determining what the mother of the bride should wear can oftentimes get a bit overwhelming.

Not to worry, though, as we asked a fashion expert to provide a few pointers for making this process as seamless as possible. Whether you're a bride who's hoping to help your mom find the perfect look or the matriarch of the family, we've got the who, what, when, where, and how of mother-of-the-bride attire. Read on below for all the expert tips, and don't forget to take notes!

Tips for Selecting a Mother-of-the-Bride Look

If you take away only one tip, let it be this one: Follow the bride's cues about style, color, and degree of formality. It's the couple's job to set the tone for the event—whether that means a casual country wedding complete with cowboy boots or a formal black-tie affair—so if you're a mom who's currently searching for an ensemble, ask your daughter for some guidelines and follow suit. After that, the rest lies in the details, as highlighted below.

Complement the Wedding Party

Traditionally, the mother of the bride's gown should complement (but not match) the color of the wedding party's attire. That's why fashion expert Shea Jensen shares that mothers of the bride should wait until their daughters have chosen their bridesmaids' dresses before heading to the mall. For instance, if the bridal party is wearing black cocktail dresses, as the mom, you might want to choose something in silver or grey. Or, if the bridesmaids are wearing cobalt blue, a navy dress would pair perfectly.

Take Cues from the Venue

While almost anything goes for mother-of-the-bride attire—so long as the bride approves—it is important to follow certain cues dictated by the venue. For example, it's probably best to wear a strapless dress to a beach ceremony rather than a church wedding. Simply put, take the weather and cultural or religious customs into account when finding a mother-of-the-bride outfit, and always look for something that is elegant, understated, and appropriate.

Plan Ahead and Communicate Your Choice

According to Jensen, moms should start searching for a dress no later than three months before the big day, as this will allow time for special orders and alterations. What's more, since it's customary for the mother of the bride to buy her dress first, and then share her choice with the mother of the groom, planning ahead will ensure that everyone has time to coordinate their looks.

Don't Forget the Glam

While there aren't any special rules for mother-of-the-bride glam, moms should try and stick with a look that is elegant, understated, and appropriate. As for where to get ready, if the bride prefers to get glammed up with just the bridesmaids, don't get offended. As the mother of the bride, you can invite the mother of the groom or other family members to get glammed up before the ceremony, or relish the rare moment of quiet and plan to slip off on your own. Just make sure that you do plan to get your hair and makeup done—whether by a professional or trusted friend. Too often, mothers overlook themselves in favor of their children. Remember, it's your special day, too!