How to Write a Sister-of-the-Groom Speech

If your brother has asked you to speak at his wedding, you know it’s a big honor. But even though you love your brother and his fiancé, mustering up the courage to give a speech might be a difficult task. Between figuring out what to write, the pressure to be funny, and simply the fact that all eyes will be on you, many people often get extremely nervous when preparing for the special moment. Plus, if you don’t love public speaking, giving a sister-of-the-groom speech may sound like a total and complete nightmare. However, don't fret, we're here to help!

To start, a sister-of-the-groom speech is a sweet moment at the wedding that's meant to bring joy and well wishes to the happy couple. It's a toast that typically includes anecdotes and compliments to the newlywed, and is generally given during the wedding reception (though some couples choose to schedule this speech for the rehearsal dinner.) Simply put, a celebratory experience that shouldn't evoke complete fear.

Thus, to assist you in writing the best toast for your sibling, we've asked expert Heidi Ellert-McDermott to help us create a guide full of speechwriting tips, guidelines, and ideas for your big moment. Read on for more.

How to Write a Sister-of-the-Groom Speech

Sisters of the groom have more leeway than other family members when writing their speech, as they can be funny, teasing, charming, or even sassy (in a good way!). They can also be personal, demonstrating the relationship between brother and sister, all while keeping things short, sweet, and sentimental.

Before you begin the writing process, discuss the ideal length of your speech with your brother. As a general rule, however, "Unless you're opting to deliver a poetic speech, I'd recommend aiming for a speech that's about five to six minutes long, or about 800 to 900 words," says Ellert-McDermott. "If you're providing the 'entertaining' speech, then I'd advise you limit your speech to less than eight minutes or 1,200 words."

Once you have your timing confirmed, your next step is to start putting pen to paper. But if you don't know where to begin, we put together an outline to get you started on your perfect toast.

Greet the Guests

If you are the first one giving a speech greet, your guests and welcome them to the wedding. If you aren’t, skip this step and jump straight into the good stuff.

Get in a Laugh Early

Ellert-McDermott suggests making a joke early, ideally within the first 20 seconds of the speech. “It will immediately relax you and your audience. Think about your brother’s individual quirks, eccentricities, and habits," she notes.

Share Anecdotes

Tell stories about your brother, either from the early days or more recently, in order to show what type of person he is to you. “Resist the cliches about your brother always being there for you when you needed him,” adds Ellert-McDermott. “Instead, tell the anecdotes that prove his great qualities and bring his specific, unique characteristics to life.” 

Don't Forget Your Brother's New Spouse

No matter how many nice things you say about your brother, the way to truly make him happy is to talk about his new partner. “Again, avoid platitudes,” cautions Ellert-McDermott. “Think about the reasons you’ve bonded with your new sister (or brother) in law and why you think they’re so right for your brother.”

Honor Your Parents

“Your speech is not only an opportunity to tease your brother; you can also make fun of your parents and the way they brought you both up,” says Ellert-McDermott. “Remember how they wouldn’t let you eat sugar after 4 p.m.? ‘Well, mom, there’s a magnum of Champagne over there that definitely contains a few grams of sugar and I’m certainly sampling it!’”

Wrap Up With a Toast

"The toast can be emotional, humorous, or a bit of both," Ellert-McDermott shares. "It's great (and seems really clever) if you can echo a thought from earlier in the speech to somehow wrap up the theme of your speech (for example, marriage advice)." 

Sister-of-the-Groom Speech Writing Tips

Here, Heidi Ellert-McDermott shares her best tips for writing and delivering a speech everyone will love.

Crowdsource Ideas

If you are the only sibling giving a speech, get ideas and anecdotes from your other siblings. “Arrange a family get-together or just email them with a few questions with a tight deadline for contribution,” says the speech writer.

Write Early and Practice

Ellert-McDermott suggests writing your speech at least one month before the wedding to allow time to edit and rehearse. If you feel stuck, however, just write whatever comes to your mind. It doesn't have to be perfect the first time around, and once it’s on paper, you can edit it (which we'll get into below). She also says to rehearse multiple times, so you’ll feel confident on the big day. 

Edit Your Material

“A lot of people make the mistake of trying to include everything in their speech, and considering you have a lifetime of material to get through, this isn’t a great plan,” says Ellert-McDermott. “Speeches are better when they are punchy.” In other words, make sure your speech is concise, while still hitting all the points you'd like to address. She also adds, “If a story takes longer to explain, maybe it’s better reserved for the bar later.”

Keep It Light

“Another mistake a lot of sisters make is getting overly sappy and emotional,” Ellert-McDermott continues. “Aim for 75 percent comedy, 25 percent heartfelt sentiment. At Speechy, we believe that it's always good to start a speech with some humor. The emotional, sentimental content should be in the final third of the speech." After all, you want to kick off the celebration in high spirits and get everyone excited to hit the dance floor once the toasts are over.

Carefully Consider Jokes

"Telling a bad joke is worse than no joke," notes Ellert-McDermott, who advises staying away from politics, contentious issues, religion, cultural differences, exes, and anything that would require your brother to apologize to his new spouse. "It's not worth the risk," she adds.

Focus on a Theme

“The trick to crafting a great speech, one people will be complimenting till 1 a.m., is to find a theme that connects all the random insights and anecdotes into one narrative,” Ellert-McDermott says. “You want to think of your speech like a good, old-fashioned story with a beginning, middle, and almighty climax.”  

Add Quotes

“If you’ve written your speech but still feel it’s lacking something, look at using a couple of quotes in your speech. Wittier, wiser people may have already articulated what you’re trying to say and, as long as you credit them, it’s not plagiarism,” Ellert-McDermott explains. “Think of the writers, bands, films, that mean something to you and your brother. Yoda does a fine line in wise words, for example.” She does note, though, that sisters of the groom should avoid "any googled gags. Nothing cliched, wedding-y, or generic."

Sister-of-the-Groom Speech Examples

Need a few examples to jumpstart your speech-writing journey? Ahead, Ellert-McDermott shares a few sample lines (these are on the funnier side!) to use in your own toast.

Opening Lines 

“Ladies and Gentlemen, what a pleasure it is to see you all here today. For those I’ve yet to meet, I’m [Name], and I’m giving the lesser-known sister-of-the-groom speech. It’s kind of like the father-of-the-bride speech—a tribute to their personality and character—but just significantly more abusive." 

Talking About Your Parents

“A special thanks to our fantastic parents who have done an amazing job hosting such a special occasion tonight. All the effort, all the hard work; anyone would think [Name] was actually their favorite child! On a serious note, [Name] and I wouldn't be who we are today if it wasn't for you two. No heckling from either of our partners please—they did their best with us!”

Talking About Your Brother’s Partner

“Yes, [Name], you look absolutely stunning today and it’s a privilege to have you as my sibling-in-law. I’m so excited that not only have you officially joined the [Name] family, but that you’ve also taken on responsibility for my brother. Yes, those calls at 2 a.m. when he’s forgotten where he lives are now your problem. Really [Name], you should have read the small print."

The Final Toast

"So, my final piece of utterly unqualified advice to you both is simple: Enjoy your life together. [Brother’s name], you’re so lucky to have found your soulmate, and [Partner’s name], you’re lucky to have found someone who will make you laugh every day. Usually unintentionally. And often in the bedroom. Ladies and gentlemen, a toast to my brother and my favorite new brother/sister. Cheers!"