The 10 Biggest Wedding Etiquette Mistakes Couples Should Avoid Making

Don’t Make the Day Just About You

This may seem contradictory to the common adage of “this is your day," but Carter says if you're hosting a wedding, you need to think about what your guests want—not just what you want. “If you think this day is only about you, elope,” she says. When hosting a wedding party, your guests should be top priority. Make sure they are not hungry, cold, or sitting out in the rain. Pay attention to dietary restrictions and make sure your event is ADA compliant. “Focus on the guest experience,” she adds. 

Don't Put Your Registry Information on the Wedding Invitation

Though it's important to include all salient information on your wedding invitation, details about where you two have registered for gifts shouldn't make the cut. “This is one of those old-school faux pas that still stands true today,” says Grumet. There are, however, appropriate ways to clue your family and friends in about where you've made your gift list. “If you choose to have a wedding website, you may include your registry information there and make your guests aware of the site on your save-the-date. If you do not have a wedding website, you may want to add a separate card to your invitation bundle indicating registry details.” And, when in doubt, ask loved ones to spread the information by word of mouth.

Don't Arrive Late to Any of Your Wedding Festivities

Sure, the celebration doesn't start until you arrive, but it's poor manners to make anyone wait around for your grand entrance, and that's true even on your wedding day. “The vendors have worked so hard to put on the beautiful wedding of their dreams. Do your part by respecting the start time,” says Grumet.

This is good advice for guests, too. Adhere to the start time listed on your wedding invitation or arrive a few minutes early, if possible.

Don’t Ask Your Guests to Pay for Anything on the Wedding Day

“You're their host; you're taking care of them,” says Carter. This means all food and drink should be free of charge for guests. Cash bars, our experts agree, are unacceptable. The good news is that there are ways to save on alcohol that don't require you to shift the cost to your loved ones. To make your bar more budget-friendly without asking guests to pay for their own drinks, consider offering just a selection of beer and wine or a few signature cocktails in place of a full open bar.

If you can, it's nice to also provide transportation options to and from the wedding venue that guests can take advantage of free of charge, especially if you have a hotel room block where most attendees will be staying.

Don’t Disrespect Your Vendors

It should go without saying, but it's important to treat your wedding vendors with respect and kindness on the big day, Carter reminds couples. Feed them all a real meal, thank them for their time and efforts, and treat them like people. They are going above and beyond to meet your expectations, and even though it’s their job, they deserve the same level of thought and respect that you expect of them. “No amount of stress should be an excuse to lash out at vendors,” says Grumet.

Don’t Overindulge on Alcohol Bevergages

While you should certainly enjoy yourself on the wedding day, our experts agree that overindulging at the bar is a mistake. First and foremost, you want to be able to appreciate and remember this important day. There's nothing wrong with trying to calm those pre-wedding jitters with a glass of bubbly, but avoid overdoing it ahead of the ceremony. “Feel all the feels but don't run from it and mask with alcohol…You want to remember everything,” Carter says.

What's more, you're also one of the celebration's hosts, so being of a clear enough head that you can chat with guests and hit the dance floor is key; if the couple of the hour aren't present at the party, everyone will wonder what they're doing at the reception.

Don't Make Guests Wait Too Long for the Party to Start

The quickest way to make your guests feel forgotten is to leave a big gap in your timeline between the end of your ceremony and the beginning of the cocktail hour. If everything is in the same venue, time it so the bar opens and appetizers get passed as soon as your guests leave your ceremony site. If they’re at two different locations, do your best to minimize the in-between time, allowing enough time for guests to travel from one spot to the other, but not enough time to sit around and get hungry (or worse, find a local restaurant and fill up on snacks instead of your wedding food).

If a longer break is unavoidable (say, between a late-morning ceremony and an evening reception), give your guests the option of being entertained. Recommend outings and activities to fill that time, or go as far as arranging one on their behalf, like a sightseeing bus tour or a hospitality lounge at the hotel with drinks, snacks, and TVs playing the afternoon’s football games.

Don't Forget to Take Care of Your Wedding Party

Your family members and friends are committing time and money to be a part of your celebration, so don’t forget to show how much you appreciate them. Do your best to keep the experience as drama-free as possible, which is really the greatest gift you can give them. However, that doesn’t mean an actual gift wouldn’t be appreciated. Depending on your budget, pick a token of appreciation that your bridesmaids and groomsmen will love long after your wedding day. That could mean simple necklaces or cufflinks with their initials, monogrammed clutches, or a cool watch. A price point between $75 and $150 is a good place to start, especially considering how much they’ve spent on travel, hotel rooms, and the attire you’ve chosen.

Last but not least, don’t forget to feed them. If your girls are gathering early in the morning, make sure to have breakfast and coffee on hand, and arrange for a lunch delivery before everyone gets dressed. The groom and groomsmen may not need to put their suits on until the afternoon, so treat them to lunch at a nearby restaurant before they head back to the hotel to shave and shower.

Don't Ask Anyone to Sit at a “Singles Table”

Instead of haphazardly putting all of your single friends at the same table (which can feel like a forced blind date, especially if they don’t actually have anything in common), seat any single friends just as you will the rest of your guests: Based on whether or not they’ll get along. Group friends and family members based on similar interests, whether your cousin and your college bestie work in similar fields or you know your old roommate will love your coworker’s toddler.

Don't Forget to Be a Gracious Host

While a formal receiving line is waning in popularity, it’s still important to try to greet all of your guests over the course of your wedding. Share a hug and a quick chat during cocktail hour, then move on to the next group of guests. Make sure you’re served dinner first so you can eat before circulating among the reception tables. And hop from group to group on the dance floor so you can boogie with different sets of friends. Guests will understand that you’re trying to make the rounds, so don’t worry about keeping it short. Try to see everyone, and make a mental note of who you didn’t talk to so you can say “hi” and give them a hug during the morning-after brunch.

And don't forget that you role as host doesn't end once the reception concludes. Be sure to thank your family and friends for coming to celebrate your big day. Remember, you do not have a year to mail thank-you notes to your guests—that constant refrain is a myth. Not only is it impolite, it actually makes writing them harder, not easier. Instead of letting those gifts pile up and turn into a marathon evening of note writing, stay on top of the task. Keep a running list of who sent you what, and write a thank-you note within a week or two, whether it was an engagement present or a wedding gift. Don’t forget to check it off your list once the note is sent.